Autism, Life & Learning
As today is the last day of autism awareness month I would like to share how life with autism is well to me anyway. I going to spilt this in to three bits: Emotions, danger and life.
Emotions: In general I have three emotions these are happy, sad and angry. I can't laugh (as in i make a face but no sound comes out) although i can mimic laughter each mimic of laughter is my gauge of how funny something is. To me there is no inbetween i am one of those three. When I was around year 5 to year 6 I got bored with just having these emotions, partly because i couldn't connect with anybody but also because I couldn't see from points of view only my own which is purely logical which caused issues beacuse i could take in more things then anyone in my class but my teachers couldn't really understand me although they could teach me. So I made what i called a 'Synthetic Emotion Chip' in this i put all the emotions i thought i should have like annoyed, excited and worried I think now i have around 15 'synthetic' emotions this doesn't always work but it better then not understanding someone i really want to help. An added bonus is i can turn of my 'emotion chip' when needed. Danger: This one is an odd one where I overthink so i can see dangers before they happen. The example I use is if two cars, one going up a road the other down, are coming to a point where they meet. The three I see at least are what I call a safe vision, a mild vision and a extreme vision these look like. A Safe- they pass it other keeping on their side of the road and no harm is done. A Mild- They clip each other but all is well A Extreme- The hit head on and bust in to flames anyone who was in the cars or near them is dead. Also the other issues I have are not seeing cars or noticing any danger coming towards me so have learnt to bounce, I'm pretty sure I am made of putty. Life: As I have said I overthink but my life is full of bits i can't filter like that but i see things like this pretty much every step. I don't cope well with loud noises, people, touching or lots of light. I swear i was meant to be a bat. I don't really have friends or what I will call friends. I think I have one or two but that's it. I can see things from other people's point of view but its hard to understand my own. I tic pretty much constantly whenever i have an emotional reaction which isn't good especially when you don't want to look like a panda. It may sound like hard work or hell to me this is life I've learnt how to control certain bits like the twitching... to a point. So Please be Autistic aware Some people may have issues worse then me or better but all we want is to be treated with respected and not looked at like we are odd. 🌝
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This month has been busy. To make sure ive understood this because my head its still spinning. I have been working now two months going all over Devon, I have caught up with friends i lost contact with, I raced in my C1, had a car accident (more on that one later), had lesson for my OU course and finished my TMA. That's pretty condensed and with all this I had 2 meltdowns.
Right, I'm going to spend most of this post explaining this silly accident. I should say I wasn't driving. A couple weeks ago me and my mum were going down to training. As my mum was looking up the junction the car go hit on the rear, the number plate came off, I was the only one in the car that was calm and making lots of inappropriate jokes, many I can't say on here. We then chose to abandoned training to go head home to phone the insurance people. No one worry we are both fine. The car had to be repaired though. So we had a hire car... It was a hybrid -_- but not a Prius. My lesson about sociology, or what the OU is calling it: the social sciences, has been so droll because we have been learning about a street, in Cardiff, in Wales. I live in Devon, in England... How is it meant to be relatable? If you live in wales i can see why its relatable. Now its picking up we are learning about supermarkets. Its still boring but at least i can look at a supermarket or go in one. After this i think we are looking at how and why things are being thrown away. The TMA has been fun, I had to plan, where there's autism, there's a plan- usually for or against autism. I do like plans, i can have some order. The down side was the plan had to be a page long- its way to short for a plan it needs to be at least two three pages long. Then I had to use the plan, i finished my TMA in two hours. Then back to work. My life is fun, if i'm not studying, i'm working if i am not doing either of that I'm training. This has been quite a short post but there is so much happening I can't process all of it. I am still quite surprised I've had two meltdowns. 🌝 |
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September 2019
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