Autism, Life & Learning
Right I will admit that I haven't said everything about this topic, partly because I'm really bad at explaining but also because its a really confusing topic to talk about especially when you are tired. From where is I left off where I talked about different degrees of gender and when it comes to sexuality we still fit into very normal boxes, like being heterosexual, gay and lesbian, trans-gender and bisexual. Well most of us don't fix ourselves in those brackets. If you wanted to label me you could put me in non-binary or in gender fluid as I am either depending if my emotion chip is working. So some of us have no natural gender, although I know I'm male. When it comes to sexuality I think I can be safe to say quite a lot are pansexual. Pansexual is where you fall in 'love' with the person/machine not the gender so some of us may 'love' a robot rather than a person. If you wanted an example from me then although I like somebody I have a connection with my boat, although it's not completely the same to me it not far off. If anyone is wondering why 'love' is written this way its because I don't use the word and haven't since I was around 3-4 years old. To me it's a word that causes the most arguments, its also a really broad term as you can 'love' your friends, family and someone you are in a relationship with so I don't use it. Instead I show it by which means best to person or thing. A lot are also asexual so this mean they don't have sexual feelings or association with those feelings, so you could say a few are like this if we shutdown, I know some are without shutting down, as we limited to basic feelings; so happy, sad and maybe angry. This the other bit I made a bit of a boo boo on I forgot to talk more about this. I mentioned trying to ask someone out. Then a bit about them which isn't too helpful. Lets give a bit more detail a retcon a few things. 😃 Firstly asking someone out we could think years in advance and I do mean years, I liked someone I planned for four years before asking them to account for every scenario and any backup plans, if needed- so if they try attacking me, if their friends started making fun of me etc. you can see what I was planning for. So you can have a rough time scale of about year to three years being normal, just to make sure everything is in place and they know everything need. We make ourselves not wanted to look a bit.. odd at times. We aren't we just need to talk to them, if we could. In this time we would try and make them fit in our system and fit in to our friend area to fall back to (some may do this). Somewhere in this time frame, or longer, we might ask them out. Then there is two ways to go: Yes: Everything fits into plan and we update everything when get over all the shutdowns, meltdown or overjoyed feeling- not that I know that one. No : We start again with the planning either with them again or with someone else later on (because that what happens when you have very little emotional connection and a logical thinking). Saying this we may not ask them out a just leave it either because we found out something that breaks our system somewhere or our rules of what we look for- had a few of them. With that we may just change to someone else or wait for someone to be near the list then start the work all over again. Like I said in the Part 1 of this my form of relationship would be more of a close friendship as I have a very limited emotions so to handle it that would be the best way or a gradual change over some time. I hope this is easier to understand please leave any comments if you want. 😃
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So firstly out of the gate I'm not at Nottingham due to ill health which I am really not happy about but rules are there for a reason. My 'ill health' is partly to do with my autism so thats one part of my life it had ruined this weekend, usally I can just keep going but I had to take everything into account this time around. As it is rare i have lots of sensory overloads in a row, meltdowns I can deal with; just go into basic program and use echo location.
Anyway enouch of that this is something I have been trying I am to to try to use something called Google Blogger. Instead of this blog, although everything will be here it won't be when I finish the OU but I am unsure if it will be after my first year or my third either way to make sure everything I have said is read and people can see things I have put it will be copied over their. It will most likely be named something simliar. I will link it when I have completed the transistion. In this case I'm an Eevee turning into a Leafeon growing and hopfully spreading a more helpful basis to Autism Awareness. So being blue, not being down like its accosiated with, that is the actual colour for autism awareness; blue... I would like to know where this came from because if it is associated with our moods then I won't be happy. You could almost say I might be blue... . I know bad pun. There are some reason why I am trying this new program. 1) It's not customisable. I wouldn't mind this if had a coulorful background but for me it has this horrible grey and light blue. I don't know what it is like for anyone who reads this, but expect strong colours if they can be changed. 2) I can put pictures on here. If you aren't a OU student reading this the OU give you 500KB for a picture to be uploaded, so its either very poor quality or you can't get it on although due to copyright i doubt i will be doing many Pokemon picture because nintendo love sueing people who show pokemon without giving them credit. These are the main ones but I am positve this could be a step in the right way. |
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September 2019
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