Autism, Life & Learning
Right I will admit that I haven't said everything about this topic, partly because I'm really bad at explaining but also because its a really confusing topic to talk about especially when you are tired. From where is I left off where I talked about different degrees of gender and when it comes to sexuality we still fit into very normal boxes, like being heterosexual, gay and lesbian, trans-gender and bisexual. Well most of us don't fix ourselves in those brackets. If you wanted to label me you could put me in non-binary or in gender fluid as I am either depending if my emotion chip is working. So some of us have no natural gender, although I know I'm male. When it comes to sexuality I think I can be safe to say quite a lot are pansexual. Pansexual is where you fall in 'love' with the person/machine not the gender so some of us may 'love' a robot rather than a person. If you wanted an example from me then although I like somebody I have a connection with my boat, although it's not completely the same to me it not far off. If anyone is wondering why 'love' is written this way its because I don't use the word and haven't since I was around 3-4 years old. To me it's a word that causes the most arguments, its also a really broad term as you can 'love' your friends, family and someone you are in a relationship with so I don't use it. Instead I show it by which means best to person or thing. A lot are also asexual so this mean they don't have sexual feelings or association with those feelings, so you could say a few are like this if we shutdown, I know some are without shutting down, as we limited to basic feelings; so happy, sad and maybe angry. This the other bit I made a bit of a boo boo on I forgot to talk more about this. I mentioned trying to ask someone out. Then a bit about them which isn't too helpful. Lets give a bit more detail a retcon a few things. 😃 Firstly asking someone out we could think years in advance and I do mean years, I liked someone I planned for four years before asking them to account for every scenario and any backup plans, if needed- so if they try attacking me, if their friends started making fun of me etc. you can see what I was planning for. So you can have a rough time scale of about year to three years being normal, just to make sure everything is in place and they know everything need. We make ourselves not wanted to look a bit.. odd at times. We aren't we just need to talk to them, if we could. In this time we would try and make them fit in our system and fit in to our friend area to fall back to (some may do this). Somewhere in this time frame, or longer, we might ask them out. Then there is two ways to go: Yes: Everything fits into plan and we update everything when get over all the shutdowns, meltdown or overjoyed feeling- not that I know that one. No : We start again with the planning either with them again or with someone else later on (because that what happens when you have very little emotional connection and a logical thinking). Saying this we may not ask them out a just leave it either because we found out something that breaks our system somewhere or our rules of what we look for- had a few of them. With that we may just change to someone else or wait for someone to be near the list then start the work all over again. Like I said in the Part 1 of this my form of relationship would be more of a close friendship as I have a very limited emotions so to handle it that would be the best way or a gradual change over some time. I hope this is easier to understand please leave any comments if you want. 😃
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Its a two for one today, mainly because this post should been done this week and the last post should have been done last week but the our internet company decided to forget about us.
So this is the last topic in this and its about gender and sexuality, I’m going to add relationships in as well just to give a fuller picture. Word of warning this is going to get complicated really quick and its going to get odd very quickly. So you have been warned. So I'm guessing anyone you is reading this knows about LGBT+, I know I have missed most but for the sake of simplicity, anyway if not L is Lesbian, G is Gay, B is Bisexual and T is Transgender and the + is for everyone else who comes under their banner. Here where it will get confusing. A lot of people with autism are LGBT+, but for most who aren’t we don’t have definitive gender. We can be seen as male, female, slightly feminine, slightly masculine, Male but very feminine- although not gay, Female but very masculine- although not a lesbian. Right I can hear people like that saying that seems normal so far what wrong with any of this? Those who are slightly or are very feminine but are male have either learned their sexuality from the wrong sex or they don’t understand what gender they are but know what they are anatomically. The same along the female side. For most people the gender and sexuality are in their brains who and what they are, for most of us nope. Okay lets put things into confusing matters. If you are still on board then lets see if this stumps you. A lot of people with autism and mainly Asperger’s can be heterosexual but we can have moments where we still look at the same sex and think that they are attractive. I’m going to talk a bit about relationships again this one is odd. Lets go from the start. Asking someone out is hard, but most people with autism or Asperger’s thinks that they must know whom ever they maybe must be know they have autism/Asperger’s usually they flee by that point- my experiences anyway. Before any of that they have to make sure they can be trusted and that they don’t freak with any twitches or behaviours we have. So if they can be trusted, can deal with our behaviours and they know they have autism we try and make them friends or acquaintances from there we use our own scale of our friendship before asking. If no we try and keep them close if yes they we change are whole system for them. Within that we know that we may not know what we are and what we understand gender or sexuality. So we can be a bit confused. Then you have the quirks of each person, in my case I don’t like being touched or touching people, so you can see where the issues are and to top it as I keep saying I have limited emotions so if I can have any type of relationship it would be more like a close friendship then anything, which sounds a little sad but I don't really care I can mimic certain emotions so I try and make up for what I miss. This is the last post for this seires. I will plan some more things like this I think I might do a seires about how we view the world. There will be some odd post on here from then but I’m going to mainly plan this. |
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September 2019
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